Aren't they so darling!?....
By all accounts they are quite darling, but looks can sometimes be deceiving. You should hear what comes out of their mouths. I hear 100 times a week, 'oh, look at them...they are so gorgeous...they are so sweet...they are so funny!' And, yes, they are but I bet you wouldn't think they were so sweet if you were in the car with us when Scott told Abby 'why don't you settle down' and Abby replied, 'why don't you get back here and smell my pit!' Or, when she was trying to get Scott to move and she gave him a little shove from behind and said, 'come on you big asshole!' (those are 2 of my all-time faves-haha!) It has been a while since I have updated with some of their stories, so I thought since Liv is really coming into her own these days, too, I would do another post sharing some of their shining moments! (and, I apologize for the repeats that you may have read on Facebook)
I remember when I was pregant with Abby and reading one of those stupid pregnancy books and I read that children don't really develop a sense of humor until around age 7 and that they don't really understand sarcasm until around that age, also. I was thinking 'Oh great...not only will this kid not talk at all for a year, she won't be entertaining or funny until she's SEVEN!' ha! So, maybe my kids are the exception to the rule (not very likely, as I know some pretty funny kids) or that book was full of shit (highly likely since most of them are full of nothing but garbage to scare the crap out of expecting parents). Either way, my kids are funny, my kids have killer sense of humors and my kids are sarcastic. I guess it could also be genetic...Scott is the most hysterical, but also the most sarcastic human being on Earth (to know him is to love him :). And, I can dish out my fair share of sarcastic remarks, too. And, that is how we have always communicated with the girls. Maybe it's because baby talk goes straight to my spine (although I am guilty of it on occassion) or because I spend the majority of my time with the girls and in order to maintain my sanity, I talk to them like they are little adults. I am sure this will back fire on us at some point, but so far it's worked for us! ha! That all being said, nothing amuses me more than to hear one of them pull off a killer one liner!
So, here are some of their latest....
1. Olivia was swinging a large vaccum attachment around in the living room (never mind why she was doing that-ha!), but she took a swing and just inches from our large, flat screen TV Abby caught the club and knocked it to the ground. Without missing a beat, she looked at Olivia and said, 'I just saved your life!'
2. We were shopping @ Target not long ago and Olivia grabbed a pair of huge maternity bathing suit bottoms and asked if they were panties. I told her they were bottoms for women with babies in their bellies and Abby announces to everyone...'hey, Mom...remember when Liv was in your belly and your butt was HUGE like that...wasn't that funny!?' Yeah, absolutely hysterical!
3. The other day I was slicing an apple for Liv (remember she is only 2 1/2) and apparently I wasn't doing it to her specifications. I handed her the plate, she looked down at the apple, looked up at me and said, 'you are such a pain in my butt!' (I was just so happy she didn't say ass, I didn't care-ha!)
4. We were driving to an anniversary party about 2 hours away this weekend and the girls were already sick of being in the car. Olivia had reached her limit and was trying to escape from her car seat. When that didn't work out for her she yelled to us, 'let me out of this thing or I will take ALL of my clothes off!' Ohhhh....burn! She sure told us! haha! Let's just hope that threat passes before she's a teenager! :/
5. As I was walking through the house yesterday, a framed picture fell off the shelf. I reacted with a disappointed 'oh no.' Abby says, 'Oh, don't worry...Dad broke that when he was throwing the ball against the wall. He just put it back up there like that so you woudn't know!' hahahaha!
6. Abby started it but now knows that it doesn't fly around here, and Olivia has now picked up on it and well...she doesn't really care if she's naughty or not like Abby does-ha!. If I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do and she's in a mood, she will yell NEVER! Example...'please help your sister pick up that mess!'....'NEVER!' 'Go grab your coat so we can go!'....'NEVER!' In the store we were talking to a woman while shopping and she was ohhhing and awwwing over Olivia. She told Olivia she liked her shirt and I said, 'say Thank You!' And, you guessed it!....'NEVER!' Oh. my. word. If I could have crawled in a hole, I would have. The woman thought it was hilarious, but really!? It's a good thing that child is cute.
7. We made the girls quesadillas one night with spinach wraps and the girls did NOT like them. A few nights after that we were discussing dinner and Olivia looked right at me and said, 'no way am I going to eat another one of your nasty quesadillas!'
Out of the mouths of babes! haha!